Of Dice and Men
by Alpha-alien
Summary: MockingbirdAU/ Wheeljack and Perceptor have stumbled across the age-old nerd classic, roleplaying. How will these two bots or is it men?  of science tackle this new obstacle? Roll 7d10!


Just one more after this one. Gee, wonder who that would be.

Go read Mockingbird to learn why they're human. It'll make more sense.

Probably.

Reviews are nice. You'll gain 10xp! :'D

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Of Dice and Men

Wheeljack stared at the table before him. A grid map was laid out with crudely drawn shapes painting the middle. Five figures stood around, made of pewter. A large pool of dice was scattered everywhere.

"So, what _exactly_ are we doing?" he finally asked. Perceptor looked up, glasses falling down his nose. Wheeljack looked at his friend.

"We're going to try and take down the Wizard King and reclaim Trenjaar's treasure!"

"And voluptuous princess."

"Shut up, Al." A young man behind a cardboard screen snickered as two other youngsters, obviously in their late teens, argued.

"Jack, Percy, you guys are new to are group, as well as gaming,"

"And for that, we thank you for choosing us!" Al, a boy with messy hair, smiled. The man behind the screen coughed, annoyed.

"This, is Keepers of Majik," he swept his arm above the table, "You and Percy are your characters, Jack, you chose a Mage, Percy, you decided on a rouge." he said, matter-of-factly. He leaned back and smiled. "You each are a part of a group, Al is a warrior-elf and Mark is a cleric." he motioned to the two boys.

"So, what are you?" Perceptor asked.

"The GM."

"GM?"

"Game Master. My job is to create the scenarios your party ventures on and I throw monsters at you." Wheeljack frowned.

"I want to be the Game Master. That sounds like fun!"

"Jack, if you were the Game Master, we'd never get through!" Perceptor shoved his friend's shoulder before pushing his glasses back up onto his nose.

"Who wants pizza?" Mark said, suddenly, causing the others at the table to jump.

"Mark! We haven't even _started_!" The GM said, glaring. Mark frowned.

"Come on, Jim! We need pizza."

"And beer." Al grinned. Jim closed his eyes.

"No pizza and _no beer_!"

"Awwww."

Wheeljack and Perceptor exchanged glances. Maybe this was all a bad idea.

[oo]

"Jack, will you give it a rest?" Al frowned; three dice shook in his hand. He tossed the dice on the table and counted. "Twenty-eight."

"Missed."

"Son-of-a,"

"Why can't we just blind it?" Wheeljack asked, again.

"Because his magical defense is too high." Jim said, pointing at the pewter figure of a goblin king. "It wouldn't have any effect."

"But, we haven't even _tried_ it! How do we know it won't work?" Wheeljack pushed. Perceptor was looking over his character sheet.

"Can I just stab it and be done with all this?"

"You can. Roll." Perceptor picked up a few dice and tossed them. "Seventeen, that won't hit," Jim said. Perceptor look at the map.

"But, I'm _literally_ in front of him! How did I miss?"

"He dodged it."

"He's pinned against the wall!"

"Maybe you just suck that badly?" Mark said, putting his can of Bud Lite down. Jim frowned.

"Get your can off my map! You're erasing the Harpy Room!"

"Harpy Room? Ah, hell." Al ran a hand through his hair. "Can't we just find the treasure?"  
"No, it's more fun this way." Jim cackled, and grabbed a handful of dice and tossed them. "Let's see, Percy attacked the Goblin King, so the King swings and hits," grabbing more dice he threw more, "and deals 26 points of damage." Perceptor looked at the character sheet. Mark leaned over and winced.

"You're dead, dude. Tough luck."

"The little goblin minions around Jack attack," dice was rolled, "three hit and Jack takes," roll, "10 points of damage."

"Why only ten for him?" Perceptor asked, frowning, crinkling up his sheet and tossing it behind him.

"Well, the goblin minions are weaker than the Goblin King. Besides, you're only a level one character, so the Goblin King was probably a bit extreme for you. But Al and Mark had already started the mission, so I couldn't really do anything else." Jim explained. Perceptor frowned more.

"I still think I should have been able to stab something pinned to a wall that's no a foot in front of me." He muttered. Wheeljack sighed.

"At least you could have done something. From what he's saying I can't do anything." Wheeljack pointed to Jim. "I mean he says everything I've got this thing is immune to. All I can do is stand around and throw up a shield."

"You're too weak to do any major damage, Jack! If we find a magical weapon or something, we'll give it to you." Mark said, frowning. Al grinned.

"But, it is kind of sad when the _cleric_ is stronger than the _mage_." Al said, laughing.

"Will you guys shut up?" Jim snapped. He turned towards Perceptor and Wheeljack. "I accept that you guys are new to all this, but there are some things you just have to accept in gaming! You can't go asking questions about _everything_. It gets annoying!"

Perceptor and Wheeljack exchanged looks.

"But, if we don't ask, how are we going to learn?" Perceptor asked.

"Yeah, it's kind of confusing. We just want to know if we understand things right." Wheeljack added. Jim rubbed his temple.

"It's called _roleplaying_. You made a character; you just act how you perceive them to be."

"That's what we don't get. We _are_ doing things our character would do, but you keep telling us we can't." Perceptor crossed his arms.

"Because you're not high enough level to do them!"

"What does that matter? We should still be able to try!"

"I'm trying to keep you guys from getting your characters killed."

"You did wonderfully with Percy's character." Wheeljack muttered. Jim sighed.

"Maybe he just doesn't know what he's talking about." Perceptor mused, unaware he was talking aloud. "He's just saying this to keep up appearances." Jim glared. "What?" Perceptor blinked, confused.

"Enough! Out! Out! Both of you!" Perceptor and Wheeljack were shoved out of the small apartment and the door was slammed behind them. Wheeljack and Perceptor exchanged looks.

"Is this part of the game?"

"Don't think so."


End file.
